Support or crutch

So this week has been a pretty good week. We had family group and talked about giving space or creating space between me and the youngest. He has been tightly attached for a while and I have not been able to find the right way or path to some detaching, it is a work in process. And the process is long and fraught with steps, half steps and backward steps but hopefully not to many of the backward kind. So it was decided at family that the youngest would have his individual therapy the next day and that dad would bring him so I could go to my book club. Well that did not happen, you see the trips in the car right now bother the youngest, traffic, noise and such really bother him especially when he goes to an appointment, not so much when he is on his way home. So compromise we did, I took him in and his dad brought him home. I went to book club ( which the youngest calls his fan club lol) and it worked well. Perhaps this will be the new norm to create some space , create support but not a crutch. This is hard because I am struggling with this transition. On his good days developmentally the youngest is 17-19 years old, but because his psychosis hit during the time when most teens are doing their stretching, decision-making, leaving home time the youngest has not had the practice to do this and I think it stresses him quite a lot. But you can’t learn if you don’t practice and I am trying to figure out ways he gets more of the practice . I don’t recall how the other siblings did this either but perhaps I should ask them for some suggestions. I do remember in Girl Scouts as a leader we would give the girls choices,usual two, always safe like do you want to hike trail A or trail B and then discuss the options . I need to think of things like that for the youngest so he can stretch his decision making skills, give him options, discuss what problems might occur and then follow through. And I need to think whatever I do, is this a step forward , a half step or is it a backward step and then be firm that we are not taking backward steps. Even a little step forward is better than nothing and nothing is wasted even the tiniest forward motion. In God’s hands the smallest step in faith is multiplied and made larger for His glory. As it says in 2 Corinthians 3:18 we are to move, change transform from glory to glory, so my prayer today is to be in forward motion from glory to glory, a support but not a crutch. Amen


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