This was the word of the day, for those who watched Sesame Street , you know how it goes, when the word of the day is said alarms go off and confetti pours down at random moments. So today’s word was “surprise”. Sometime surprises are good and sometimes they are sad. Today it was a mixture of both.Let me try to explain.
The youngest has been participating in a study for schizophrenics and has earned some money. He has decided that he wants to take guitar lessons with a real person teacher , rather than on-line which he has done in the past – SURPRISE!! This is a good thing and it is forward progress that he would want, desire, and follow through with making an appointment and setting up an initial lesson and doing this pretty much on his own. When I first heard about this plan , I was indeed surprised and even more so when he followed through, but I supported his decision and tried not to let my fears get in way of the progress because he had told me he was going to do an hour. Today , however he has let us know it will be for half an hour so even that is a positive thing because he has thought things through and came to a decision that perhaps for now an hour is too long. Good for him.
“SURPRISE “- his counselor has discussed with him and now with us in family that perhaps since he is progressing so well ( think tiny microscopic steps) that he could see her only once every other week rather than the weekly visits that have been ongoing for it seems like forever – at least 3 years with a few missed dates and some vacation time this has been our norm for three years, so we have an adjustment to make as there will be a gap of time that will need to be filled by ???? Not sure at this point what it will be filled by but hopefully some positive activity though this seems like only a fantasy at this point.
So we got home and just did nothing because it was 96 with the heat index at 110 outside and unbearable. I was planning to go to our churches WMU meeting and got ready to go and “SURPRISE ” the youngest pleaded” please don’t go, I don’t feel safe” and so I stayed home – again. I think it was the right decision but not the best decision and I could have put my foot down and gone but that may have shaken his confidence at going to the guitar lessons. A bit later he texted me ” I’m sorry” I’m sorry you can’t have a normal life and that I have schizophrenia and it sucks” – wow it does indeed suck and I haven’t had a normal life since children entered it lol, so there you go. And then I read “If God rescued us from every earthly difficulty, we’d never know the depth of His comfort. And we’d never be able to adequately comfort others (2
Corinthians 1:3-7).” ( from 1 minute Bible love notes)
so today my prayer is for continuing surprises of the good kind, the comfort of the Lord to flow through me and to the youngest as well as others in need, because there is a lot of need for comfort these days in many ways and I am assured that God the father is in all things, over all things and through all things and that He works to make all things good for those that love him (Ephesians 4:6 & Romans 8:28). We may not be where we want to be, but we are where God has placed us and we are there for a reason though it may not be shown or known to us what that reason is, because God is always good, always loving and always faithful to His purpose we must trust His will even if we never, ever, understand it AMEN