So this has been a different week. Last week I went to the doctors ( with all the appointments we have you would think we are all desparetly ill – not so praise the Lord) just for a routine physical. All was well,all the numbers they check were good except my blood pressure which of course was somewhat elevated! No real surprise there since I live in a house which is like a cesspool of stress hormones bathing me daily, raising my cortisol levels to some out of this world range. Cortisol is that adrenal hormone which helps you during a flight or fight response and keeps you going, but under chronic stress it raises your blood pressure, and makes you retain every calorie you eat no matter how much you exercise, or restrict your caloric intake. Well that’s my story of why I am overweight, which the doctor always comments on and wants me to lose weight which just isn’t happening ; I am stuck, and so the increased B/P and talk of weight only serves to increase my B/P and make me want to eat lots of doughnuts, lol talk about counterintuitive consequences!!
Having learned about being stuck ( see previous post – apparently stuck is a clinical diagnosis) and having learned how to help someone get unstuck, I thought I should perhaps put some of those things used for the youngest into play for myself. So off to Amazon looking for rhodalia Aswangada, and hibiscus , deep meditative breathing, and rocking, as well as plotting the B/P of course. And it has come down, not as much as I need it to but it is down so we will continue this titration until I have enough evidence to take and have a discussion with the doctor.
I was speaking with my pastor about all this and all what my circumstances have been and he said something like this” you know in all this you have not diminished, meaning you are still doing here at church and at home” I laughed and said well the doctor does want me diminished by about 20 pounds, but in thinking of being diminished I have to say that in these circumstances,with schizophrenia ever present and a daily stess , that if I have not diminished it is because the hand of the Lord has sustained me, placed the right people to help me, hubby, and the youngest in our path, and has put me in the cleft of the rock, to protect me, guard me and guide me, so that I may see more of Him. I am totally convinced as never before that He is in all things, over all things, and through all things. Yes, there will be trouble in this world but oh what an amazing site we will see when we all are in the presence of His majesty, and that will make it all worth while!!!! AMEN