So the eldest, her hubby, and grandson (age 1) came for a visit. Stirring the pot, upending schedules, and creating memories and joy. They came seeking refuge from the big city life and trading it for a little country time, chickens in the yard, wood to be split and stacked , and turkeys to kill and dress. So thankful they spent their vacation working. They will be back at Christmas to eat the turkey and enjoy the warmth of the woodstove. And through all this mayhem the youngest is off balance, quiet reserved.

So I asked him if there were too many people around, but he said no. But then he admitted he was lonely which took me by surprise and yet I could understand it or at least part of it. The eldest busy in all the things that a new mother does, and then the brother and girlfriend also come so there is another relationship budding and blossoming, and the youngest has me and his dad – the olds. So I made a few suggestions about him getting out which fell like a lead balloon, but the seed was planted. And as last week Seed planting about sitting in the congregation, I will continue to seed plant.

Today’s sermon was another which tugged at my heart  because  it was spot on for what I was feeling. The question being the sovereignty of God, and how we respond with trust or “nearly trust” and what it must mean when trials and storms come. And I think it is really hard to hold the sovereignty of God in one hand and suffering in the other. I think is is one of the mysteries of God. The great IAM, is sovereign, the alpha and omega, and is good all the time. This suffering is not from Him though He allows it, but it is from this broken world which does not seem to know IAM, and could care less about sovereignty. Can we draw closer to IAM during trials, – yes indeed we can if we choose,many choose different but today I choose to draw closer to trust IAM, and maybe a little further from the “nearly”. On days when the youngest is struggling I struggle also but as the song says “but I know whatever befalls me , Jesus doeth all things well. Yes God is good all the time, the struggles are real, everyone does not get a miracle, and perhaps the miracle is that belief in the sovereignty of God still exists and persists in the struggles. It is a mystery, a lovely God-sized mystery, I liken it to knitting fair isle pattern but looking at the wrong side of the work, you see the knots and floats, but then turn it over and see the beautiful pattern. I can only imagine the beautiful pattern we will see when we get to our forever home, what a wonder it will be. So my prayer for today is to remain undiminished in trust of the IAM, because of the sovereignty , the mystery ,the faithfulness, the good, the constant love embodied and shown through the son Christ Jesus. AMEN


One thought on “Down,sad,lonely

  1. I love the imagery of the pattern. Chaotic and Messy on one side and beautiful on the other. When I envision God showing me my life in Heaven, I think I will drop to my knees in awe-filled humility. I will see His goodness and love through all the hard.
    Thank you for this today! God bless the rest of your week!


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