Lost

No, this isn’t about the election, though I am sure it could be. I have been back from my trip to NYC for nearly two weeks and have been pondering being lost. I go to a book club on Tuesdays and we are reading “An Altar in the World, by Barbara Brown Taylor. Our last meeting was about being lost, what it is and what it isn’t. Our homework was to find a way to get lost or to ponder a time when we were lost and what we felt , experienced , took action etc. so I have been pondering about being lost.

truly I am tired of being lost, lost for words to help my son and his schizophrenia, lost for what to do next, lost for how are to push and when to push him to the next step or half-step, lost for not being able to explain any of this to anyone else so it makes sense, lost in the appointments, the drug changes and pill counting. I am tired of being lost.

As Ms. Taylor says I her book, I want to be like the cows with their well-worn paths to favorite shady places and watering holes. These paths are tried and true, no surprises, no sudden u-turns, no side effects to be dealt with. But — I am also reminded of the scripture which Jesus describes himself as the gatekeeper and he says ” my sheep will come in and go out and find pasture” (John 10:7-18) . I find myself longing to stay in the pasture, inside the gate, on the well-worn paths, safe no surprises. But Jesus does not call us to stay on the well worn paths for we are to come in and GO OUT.  I think if we stay on the well worn paths we miss to many blessings and we miss being a blessing to others as well. I still don’t like being lost, but I can abide with it because I know the Shepard, the good Shepherd and He is indeed good .

so my prayer for today is that I remain in the grace and mercy of the good Shepherd, whether I am in or out of the safe pasture , allowing the good Shepherd to calmly and gently be present to keep me on His path whether it is worn or new. AMEN

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One thought on “Lost

  1. Amen, sister! I agree with you in that prayer.
    I wonder if it could be said that being lost is being in a place where you don’t recognize anything and you don’t know how to get where you are going. I feel that way with taking care of my elderly parents. But I am not totally lost as long as I have the Shepherd who guides me each step of the way. It’s just that sometimes I don’t understand His guidance right away. But I can trust that He is with me and that He is in control and that He is, indeed guiding me. He never said it was all about me anyway. We are all in this together for His glory and honor, for when we “let (our) light so shine before men that they may see (our) good works, (they will) glorify our Father who is in Heaven.” Matthew 5:16

    Like

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