Today was family meeting day, where our little triad goes and sort of has a check in with the therapist, to see how things are going what changes , what successes, what setbacks etc. are discussed. So far all has been going fairly well, or so I thought and hoped. But today on the way to the office the youngest had a panic attack, accompanied by shaking and breathing problems and short sharp answers to “are you ok?” The response was “NO” . So I was reminded that the youngest has a serious mental health problem, which no matter how much improvement we have, it still exists! It made me send up a quick prayer for peace and help right then and as I was driving the car in traffic I couldn’t do much more than that. It caught the hubby off guard also and his response was” oh for heaven’s sake” which I am sure he regretted the minute it left his mouth and he followed with ” just take some slow deep breaths and here you can hold my hand”, which was refused.  Being caught off guard is hard and while I could not just stop and cry which is what I wanted to do , I could say a prayer for peace and help , maybe that was what was needed. The youngest got himself together, but was still shaken when we got to the office, so I slipped my arm in his and gave him a little squeeze , just to let him know I was there,  no words  said, but I could feel his step relax and he seemed better. We did discuss the reactions at session and we all agreed that it was the unexpected nature of the anxiety and panic which caught us all off guard.

That is what it is like with schizoaffective  disorder, you can do something over and over again like getting in the car and going to a session and Boom, anxiety sets in and then panic and there you go!!

Today I am thankful for the presence of the sovereign Lord, who hears every prayer the quick ones and the long ones, as well as the short, desperate ones. And I am assured He hears them all, captures the tears in bottles and remains present. I long for the day when I don’t have to think about such things as panic attacks in traffic ,  it  probably won’t happen, but the sovereign Lord has and does provide miracles so I will await with hopeful expectation, eyes and ears alert, and will still be caught off guard!!! But that is one thing about God – HE is never caught off guard !!  



Wow, dictionary .com defines this as “steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. I am talking about the youngest and his perseverance over many obstacles. In 2014, we had gotten his drugs sort of situated, and his thought processes were much clearer but due to the drugs, most of which cause significant weight gain, he had gained weight.  This is a struggle many of us can relate to, but the youngest left the doctor’s office the day he learned he weighed 286 lbs, and stated “I will not be 300” . So I asked how did he think we could help. So our journey began, lo-carb cooking, calorie counting, finding things that tasted ok and some that were down right awful. And of course there was exercise. So we started slow, did some weight training and then began walking. We also de-sugared the house. Well as much as we could because there seems to be high fructose corn syrup in everything!!! If I was president , I would declare it illegal to be put in any food product, read the labels folks!!!

Anyway, this week we had his annual physical done and he weighed 187 pounds, yes he had lost nearly 100 pounds over the course of two years!!! Yes,  his feet hurt, yes he is proud of his accomplishment, and yes he plans to continue. In talking with the doctor, he said he “just made up his mind” , but there was a little more to it than that, but his perseverance was and is amazing!!!!

Here are some steps to consider: 1: make a commitment to change – nothing was going to change until the youngest made a declarative statement and followed through.

2: Have support , especially if it requires deep changes , fortunately I can read labels and research different dietary options and play around with recipes ( some were not good , others on the do again list and this takes time)

3: don’t obsess over pounds, just stick to the goal, having a workout buddy or accountability partner helps

4: celebrate every success , the youngest got a fit bit which gives him all kinds of  encouraging things, but just hearing someone say that you did a good job helps.

5: pray every day, for endurance, perseverance and peace , this should probably be listed first

so my prayer for today is one of Thanksgiving . Thanks be to the Almighty God ruler of heaven and earth, who provides for us in many ways and allows us choice and even when our choices are faulty He never ever gives up on us, removing us from His presence if we call upon Him, acknowledge our failure and ask for guidance we have His presence along our journey.

Wisdom – tooth

Today the youngest had one wisdom tooth pulled. This may not seem like a big deal and it probably isn’t  but for the youngest with his schizophrenia and anxiety issues it is a big deal. Last night I went to Prayer team so I knew that there were at least  4 other persons praying for this event to be as successful, as anxiety free, and as painless as possible, which was a great comfort to me.

The dentist commented after the procedure that it was “textbook” . And I commented that we had been praying for good results today and were now saying thankful prayers. The youngest did well. Blood pressure moderate and within reason, pulse again within reason, not bad considering not that long ago he would have had skyrocketing blood pressure and pulse, of course the extra medicine helped. And so did the prayers.

Praying is such a mystery. You can’t know what the sovereign God will make out of our little words spoken. We don’t know what miracle will occur when we speak them. These days it behooves us to pray as never before because the sovereign God is listening, and we should also listen to Him. He speaks to us through the Bible, through devotional readings and through worship, but sometimes we are distracted. Ok, in America we can be distracted all the time with our cell phones, and such. Perhaps that is why now more than ever we need to retreat, find some quiet space and commune with the sovereign God.

So my prayer today is one of thankfulness , for the skilled dentist and her staff who know and seem to care about the youngest,for the church family who send up prayers every time requested, for the privilege of living where we can read the Bible and abide with the Lord without fear of suppression or death, and for the Son who submitted to his Father’s will and died, rose again for us, for me , for everyone to be reconciled to the Father . Thanks be to the one God the Father of all who is in all things, over all things and through all things,who remains steadfast, and faithful and praying for continual trust in the Lord, for the Lord is the Rock eternal (Ephesians 4:6, Isaiah 26:3). AMEN