So this morning while I was sipping my coffee, the youngest comes down and in a not so calm voice says “my voices are back ” , and the look of fear in his eyes. So as calmly as I could I asked ” what are they saying” . In the past these voices have said, demanded, coajoled and screamed so good question. The youngest answered ” Welcome, welcome”. So I said to mayself well that’s not so bad, and aloud I said” ok well, we need to call and see if we can meet with the doctor today.” And so the day began.
You just never need to hold on to plans too tightly, because they can always change. And you can either be rigid and fight the change or you can be flexible and go with the flow, make a different plan and still move forward. As the Randy Travis song says, “nothing breaks if it can bend” and though I am older my agility seems to be getting a workout these days. This morning as I got up my mind prayed out ” this is the day the Lord has made and I am placed in it, guard, guide and direct my paths today. And I got on my t-shirt which has “fear not” written on it in bright yellow letters. My plan was to get the youngest to the lab for his monthly blood draw, pick up my finished tax forms and get new phones for us which we had ordered but had not come and I had decided to go to the phone store, interact with the staff and get that done. Well the blood got drawn as per protocol, after the doctor visit and with additional tubes to be drawn, the phones are here and I am trying to figure mine out (technology challenged in my own way), but the taxes did not get picked up and I was not able to have fellowship with some of the ladies at church, but all in all a successful day. And the voices diminished, to a mumbling noise, not the shouting voices of the morning. Perhaps this is when we sigh loudly, take multiple deep breathes, and acknowledge that we have no control, that the youngest may always be plagued by these voices but hopefully not so as to interfere with his activities of daily living. It is a puzzlement that confounds , frustrates, and produces anxiety, it’s irrationality completes throws you off guard. For me , I am profoundly blessed as I have prayer warriors so when something odd occurs, I send out texts, emails, calls and ask for prayers for peace. This is all I can do and I believe it helps me stay calm and dissipates the anxiety, because if I am calm, then the youngest remains calm and we both move through the day a bit easier,
So my prayer for today is thanks to all those prayer warriors who have sent up prayers and do so at a moments notice and just stop to pray to the God who remains in, over and through ALL things. Amen