Begin- again

So we are starting again!!! Lol, isn’t that just like life to start over and over. The youngest met with his peer counselor person this week for the second time and hopefully this will help him move forward. I asked him what they talked about at their time when I picked him up and he told me “setting goals” . Wow, music to this tired momma’s ears.  I have been speaking to goals for a long time and sometimes it was falling on deaf ears, but perhaps now when a new person helping goals can be set and accomplished. And perhaps my goals were just too small, because some days were like, just get a shower, ok, not a shower, how about a wash, ok, not a wash how about letting me wash your hair, and finally hair washed . But perhaps that was the way it had to be at that time. Continue reading

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Painting

Since the youngest developmental years were robbed by his psychosis, we have been playing catch up. And it is a hard task, for while he has the disorder schizoaffective, we his parents, have had to witness the effects/affects of what this disease has done. It has affected my parenting greatly and perhaps not for the better.    One of the things I believe is that parents are to guard, guide and direct their children so that they become productive individuals, honoring God and people. Ahhh, but when faced with this disorder, one takes the guardianship piece and makes it priority, unfortunately and we lose the piece of guiding and directing. How can you give that extra push when anxiety reigns and shows up in the simple things like riding in a car, causing panic attacks. How do you judge when to push and when to be still??

So anyway this week we pushed, we arranged for the youngest to help one of the deacons at church paint one of the classrooms. And he did it, yes there were some deep sighs and a few moans and probably an eye roll or two, but he went and completed the task. AND HE WAS VERY PROUD OF THE JOB!! Cue the parade!!

We also pushed again today when at family, he was introduced to a peer counselor. Someone who has been through similar things with psychosis and is now working and living on his own at a facility which the youngest has hopes of going to some day in the future, tiny little steps , but good ones .

so today is a day of thanksgiving, for those who reach out and take the risk of working  with the youngest whether he is volunteering at painting, stepping outside and making new connections. Praise to the Lord, El-shaddai, the all-sufficient one who remaining  with us daily, allows us to lament in His ear and welcomes us no matter what our condition, just as we are, tired, old, sad, happy, tearful any way we want to seek His presence, He remains present, near offering comfort, though maybe  no answers because His grace remains sufficient, His Love perfect,His grace unending. My prayer is that I never forget these even on the worst days, and that I remain thankful on the better days. AMEN