In wait, a trial of patience

So we are in wait again, as this Advent season has come upon us, we are also in wait for the funding from Vocational rehab to come through. The Advent Sunday’s celebrated in my church are Peace, Joy, Hope, and Love. As I reflect on them I also reflect on this path which has brought the youngest so far. No the journey was not easy, no it is not over,yes there were many times when I did not find peace anywhere around me and my house was so full of anxiety that it actually smelled (stunk) of the stuff.  But God (love that phrase) in His infinite wisdom and timing works things out. Continue reading


Unwinding, decompressing, learning

So the youngest completed his 5 day trial stay, successfully. The director called us on Friday to let us know that they had identified ares which they could work on with the youngest, that he had shown what they needed to see in order to participate in the next step and that we were to pick him up around 3:30. It was all really good

so we went and got the youngest, he was meeting with the jobs counselor. This is also exciting. The group there works to find jobs for those who are in the program and matches them, coaches them, gets them to work, appointments and other things as they progress through the program.

When asked how it was the youngest said he had learned a lot. He learned that work is good for everyone, all the people there are good, serving people, that the worst didn’t happen, that it a structured program “which I like”,and that he wants to go back. When asked what was the hardest he said “coming home from work” because there is time to fill and he wasn’t allowed to take his laptop. He continued to do his exercise even though he was tired,working different muscles, pushing mowers, loping bamboo, raking leaves and generally working. So all in all positive steps. Minor things included their medication stuff and after one email from me and the director, it was straightened out.

So returning will happen probably after Thanksgiving if the funding goes through Vocational Rehab, which it should. There are phone calls in the meantime and some questions to be answered , but not major ones. So we have about two weeks to get things sorted, and we have gotten him a small crockpot lol. Because after all you can only eat so many peanut butter sandwiches. He did very well, I knew he could do it and I am thankful that this program is close by and far enough away. It is such a blessing!!!

so my prayer today is that the youngest begins and continues to feel the successes of this past week. That the people at this place will feel appreciated and continue their good work. And again a prayer of Thanksgiving for all the doctors, counselors, friends who have prayed me and my family through this journey, please continue these; these prayers they strengthen me and sustain my family. And most of all Praise to the Lord, the Sovereign Lord, who is and was and forever more shall be AMEN

Quietude, or calm before the storm

Today is the day. Hubby and I took the youngest off to the assisted vocational rehab place. It is a short 10 minute drive from our house, but this trip was five years in the making. And it is a miracle. When we first got the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder we were (or perhaps it was just me) overwhelmed, confused , distraught and way, way our of our comfort zone. And in the five years we have moved through all the stages and perhaps some not thought of before of this step but sometimes slow step miracle. It is a miracle and today I am thinking about hope.

When we started this journey we were blindsided by the complexity of the mental health system, stymied by the medical and insurance stuff, and confused by all the information and sometimes misinformation that we received from practitioners as well as internet resources and even from the National institutes on mental health. After a year we switched doctors because after the second hospitalization we needed to do something different and I am ever so thankful that the Sovereign Lord placed Dr. P. In our path. The first day we met she said something like this to the youngest “ I know you don’t have much hope now, but I want you to know that I have hope and if you will work with me then you can have some hope of recovery also “ . I have to say it still brings tears to me eyes and joy to my heart because this doctor took the step to shine a light into our dark place and offer hope.

these days with mass shootings happening all too often make me think that people are out of hope, lost, alone, scared, angry and they too could use a little hope, a little light on their dark world. I think rather than more regulations on gun control we need more access to hope, to genuine concern for our neighbors, and easy access to mental health help, less insurance interferences better coverage for mental health and just more Jesus in everyone’s life.

now how do we get that, we start with a little hope. That hope that grows from the fact we are deeply rooted and connected to the rootstock, grounded in Christ and the Sovereign Lord. This isn’t a request it is a command that we as Christians stand up and go. That we go to all nations and all people and show and tell them of the Christ the one true Lord, who is in all things, over all things and through all things.

My world was squeezed down to nothing during this illness, but now it is once again expanding. Yes, there will be troubles, trials , blips. But my hope is grounded in Christ and rooted in the word (the Bible) and my hope is that somehow I can share that hope with someone who is in that dark place like I was when I was offered hope.

Thanks to all who have said prayers over the youngest and for our family, please continue for this journey is not over but has begun anew with hope. Amen

so we heard from the youngest tonight, he worked on the lawn crew, said he had a little trouble but that it was ok, got his groceries and was fixing his supper. Keep up those prayers this is a miracle that needs support from all angles , thanks for reading and praying