So this week started off BIG, because the youngest agreed to practice going to church. This is huge because we have been secluded all summer, stuck in this vortex of high anxiety unable to move and yet there was always hope that some of the stuff we were doing would take hold and reduce the anxiety. We went to church which is where the youngest has been going since he was born and he was baptized there and everyone knows everyone. The church family has stood in the gap saying prayers, feeding us and generally uplifting us in various ways so off to church we went. I left the youngest with the pastor while I said some hellos and generally caught everyone up and thanked them – thanks to the pastor for his kindness and helpfulness in making the youngest at ease. We did not sit in the sanctuary but instead ,because it was practice, sat in the classroom which has speakers so we could hear the sermon. The youngest was actively listening and asking about those mentioned on the sick list. He wondered who was doing the collection as this was once his job, and I told him who it was and also told him that he could possibly one day do it again and he agreed. Forward thinking another positive sign!!! He only asked for his pulse to be taken once and it was normal all good!! So the therapy continues tomorrow as I will go to a book club and be out for about two hours.
I see my son the one who laughs easily and smiles and participates coming through and I know the next steps will be harder because it will require action and actively doing things himself so that he can reach his full potential. This is a battle I am willing to fight because he is worthy of it and I know he can be productive and have a rich full life even with his limitations, I however must convince myself and his dad that now is the time to push just a little and get him motivated. Challenge him to do more for himself as the goal is self-sufficiency and to be able to move out and be own on his own fulfilling his place in this world, not depending on others for things!!! He asked for a snack the other day, peanut butter crackers, I told him my hands were busy as I was knitting, and he could fix them just casually, but he then decided he did not want any. I commented “that seems to be a bit lazy”and he just half laughed and said “probably” . So I think I need to challenge more not harder just more and gently. Some where in the bible it says “train up a child in the way and he shall not depart from it” , I thought of this because it says train( teach, guide, direct) not do everything for a child. And I also read that children grow not by what we DO for them but from what we TEACH them and I am pretty sure this is correct, for if we do not teach them as parents, someone else will teach them something which may or may not be correct. I don’t think it means to stifle the curiosity but we definitely need to guard, guide, and direct their paths while we can because once they fly they will have to make the choices and bear the consequences. This is an honorable fight and the youngest is worthy!!!!!!