Birthdays

The youngest had his 22nd birthday last week and as days go it was not a particularly good day. We had to go town and being in the car for 12 miles made him a little car sick. Then he of course did not want me to get done what I needed to do and as I was trying to get stuff done the text messages came- “how long”, “hurry please,” ” are you done yet” all within 15 minutes of having left him in the capable hands of his dad who was right there in the car with him!!! Some days I just want to shake them both! So dad was aggravated because I couldn’t finish the job and was trying to coordinate things with my brother. I asked for some help in the form of him getting out of the car and getting the Bojangle’s for lunch. This was met with aggravated words but he did go and get the biscuits – aggravated by the fact that I was still doing business and couldn’t go through the drive through. The trip home was not pleasant as the youngest was again plagued by car sickness so we had to pull over making a short trip longer and more frustrating. But then we went to the park, ate lunch and came home at some point the youngest was still having a hard time and I simply said to him” look son, your brain does not differentiate between good stress and bad stress hormones – these brain chemicals hit your brain in the anxiety area and so you become over-anxious. We cannot do anything about that, you however can choose to feel bad and let the chemicals control you or you can say ok I am getting hit with stress chemicals because it is a good thing – it is my birthday and I will not feel bad, I will acknowledge the feelings and move forward” . Then I left the room because my frustration was taking over. After a while he came downstairs and said ” I think my anxiety is better” and from that point on he has had pretty good days. Could it really be as simple as telling him to take control and trying to explain to him what is happening chemically in is head? I wonder, and while it sounds very simplistic for a very complex problem it worked that day – another tool for the toolbox to use perhaps on another tough day. Today my prayer is for the immeasurably more that God can do in this life with schizophrenia, more patience, more love , more wisdom and especially more understanding.

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