So in family therapy we discussed dyads, triads, and perhaps having a plan for when I am not at the house where the youngest can have his pulse taken whenever he feels like it. And apparently I am part of the problem, though I would rather be part of the solution. We have had victories this week. One being the youngest asked to have his hair washed and did not ask for his pulse to be taken before!!! We got to church for the second week in a row, although we did not sit in the sanctuary we did stay for the whole service and anything like this is big. So dyads are how two people relate and how strong that tie is can be a positive or a negative. Oswald Chambers spoke of the Ghost or spirit of motherhood, because when a child, no matter the age, is in trouble the first thought is of the mother. And yes I can see this in the youngest. He is strongly attached to me. Perhaps it is my calmness, and ability to check his pulse or listen to his heart and lungs as he desires. Or perhaps it is something deeper, I do not know.
We also discussed our little threesome universe, the triad. And how at times when I am trying to reprogram the youngest to be self-aware and to know that he is ok because his fingers are pink, pulse strong,etc, that hubby will say “just take his pulse” because it is to hard for him to listen and feel the tension of the reprogramming. So we still have work to do lol, obviously wouldn’t it be grand if just by identifying dyads and triads all would be well.
so on to the plan. The youngest and I (dyads again oops) sat down and talked about things that we could do to reduce his anxiety while I am out – like for a dental appointment. And we came up with some simple steps the first of which is to let someone know his anxiety is creeping up. The second is to use the tool he has learned from a study like meditative breathing, savoring and loving kindness . And then to celebrate the successes however small. So we will see how it works. We gave it a test run on Saturday as I had some volunteer event to help with for about an hour and a half. But before I went he already was asking me not to go ” you have been gone a lot this week” . And I paused and said” let’s just look at that for a minute” . ” Let’s say we are up and functional for 12 hours and just do Monday through Friday” “That would be 60 hours, of that 60 hours I will have been away from the house for about 5 hours.” He just laughed and said ” but it seems longer” so we have another perception to change and more reprogramming to work on.
So this disease of schizophrenia messes with the perception of reality, time and a lot of other things which I have yet to discover. Here’s to the therapists who work daily with these individuals and the families, a prayer today for their perseverance!!!