Grief, grieving, a journey of tears

So this was my devotional reading for today ( see below) from the NIV Journal Bible and it really spoke to my heart because I have recently been asked ” How are you dealing with your grief?” All I could do at that moment was to shed some more tears and say “probably not very well!”  There are so many little truths in this devotion – we do indeed need someone to hold us as we grieve and the fact that our grieving is not a one and done thing but daily over multiple little things makes it all the more difficult for others to understand, even siblings of the youngest do not understand and that is something else to grieve too!!   And indeed I have been given the strength to move on but then some little thing will happen and the grief starts again as do the tears. Like yesterday when the youngest said “I wish I was better” and in that moment I had to swallow hard and pray for the best way to respond so I answered ” well we are working on that” but it starts the tears flowing and the heartbreaking because he knows he needs to get better and he wants to get better but it is a slow process and don’t we all feel like there is not enough time!!! And when does it ever get better or is it just an endless nightmare of no one understanding even those who are closest to you like the hubby who says “does he really need you?” And I can’t answer this question because I don’t know but I do know the consequences of not being  present for the youngest and my heart breaks again. And what is the good I can grasp when it all feels bad – all the time. I am not sure about the grieving curing the pain either since the pain is always present  and comes in different forms daily with this disease of schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. And so the tears flow and I feel sorry for the collection team in heaven for it is said out tears are collected and bottled , good thing God has an infinite supply of everything.  May all who are reading have peace

devotion for 8/3

Grieving with Others

Through tragedy we learn that God is “close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18). We learn that when bad things happen, we can get through them; that knowledge then gives us hope the next time tragedy strikes. God gives us the strength to move on and gives us other people to help us, which is critical because grief can only be accomplished in the context of relationship. We need others to hold us as we go through the process of letting down and letting go because we must have something good in hand to be able to let go of something bad. It is a little like being a trapeze artist: We can only let go of one trapeze if another is in view.

Grief is God’s way of getting us through and past things. And we need others to help us do that. Therefore the Bible says to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). If we do that, people find out that it really is true what Jesus said: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

Since grief is absolutely necessary for successfully moving through life, and since it is an essential part of the growth process, we have to make sure it happens well in our life and in the lives of those we love. The only way it can happen well is in relationship — the way God designed it to work. It is the reason tear ducts are in the corners of the eyes. Someone’s grief should be evident as he or she looks into the eyes of another person. It is a relational process. Relationships provide care, support, structure and the balm of love to heal hurts. Get people grieving correctly — with other people — and they can get on with life. “A sad face is good for the heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:3). Grieving cures pain.

Taken from NIV Life Journey Bible

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