So we have been in therapy for what seems to be ages and I am still learning lots of stuff. Some good ; some not so good and some surprising things. I don’t remember if I have spoken of magical thinking but this happened early , very early in the youngest’s recovery process. He had the “magical thinking ” that he would not need his medicine and of course he ended up in the hospital – twice. Both stays were necessary and I am thankful to the clinicians and nurse who were there to help. The youngest learned a lot during those stays including that he could not rely on magical thinking. So we have come to an understanding that we will speak the truth, even if it sounds crazy and weird and we will listen and be aware of times when his brain is telling him things that are not correct. Just this week he said, “I think I am having a heart attack , that is what my brain is telling me”. So I sat down with him and went over some of the clinical signs of a heart attack , are you sweating profusely/ no, are you having radiating pain down your arm or in your jaw/ no, is your pulse irregular/ no, is your blood pressure up/no. So you are not having a heart attack, this is an irrational thought that is scary but not correct/ yes. But it is hard to let go of an irrational thought, especially if it involves fatal thoughts and especially if your brain is what you rely on to let you know when something is wrong.
I hate to say there is something magical about God, but there is mystery which surrounds Him. He reveals Himself to us in what seems to be bits and pieces which may or may not be related. That speaks more to the broken nature of this world than to the nature of God by the way. Some days are hard and it is hard to remember that God is good all the time. We live in a broken world, awaiting the second coming and if we are believers we are trying to further the kingdom while we are here, even in this broken world.
There are times when I want to know more of this mystery, like how does grace and mercy really work, and how can I pour it (grace and mercy) out to provide healing on situations and then an aha moment , it is a Mystery of God for Him to work in all things,and through all things.
My job,my calling, my belief has to be comfortable with the mystery, and I also have to be comfortable with not getting the miracle, and still believe that God is good all the time and He is present in all things, over all things and through all things.
So my prayer for today, is that I will have peace in embracing this mystery, and faith that the Spirit source will be there with grace and mercy when I can not, when I am closer to earth in my thought than I am to heavenly thought and that with the help of the Spirit I will turn my heart eyes to Jesus the author and Perfecter of my faith. Amen.