Last week the youngest had a setback or at least he was not having a good day. He awoke with some uncontrolled movements which of course reminds him of the seizure experience. I must say that I was not in top form when I replied “we will deal with the seizure if it happens, take a deep breathe” . And of course this only aggravated him so he stormed off only to return after a few minutes to go and do his walking/ jogging. After this he took a short nap said he felt better but stayed mainly in his room. Later that day a few more uncontrolled movements and that set the tone for a sleepless or at least a restless night. I did send a message to the doctor and to his therapist just to let them know what was going on, but the next morning he was still having some uncontrolled movements so I called the office, got an appointment, got a phone call from the doctor, upped his med dose and took the youngest in to see another doctor, and get a blood draw. The weekend was unremarkable and so now he is on a little larger dose of one of his multiple meds, one which we had worked to get him off but never quite got him off. He has not had any more movements. I keep looking for the improvements, the miracles and this week has not been one with big neon signs of improvements and certainly no big miracles.
So while I was reading several devotionals and blogs it struck me that there were lots of miracles ongoing and everyone was praising their miracles. So of course after the week I had , I just banged off several responses in the essence of not everyone gets a miracle and yet the Lord God still loves us, takes care of us, goes before us and behind us and holds our hand if we let Him into our lives minute by minute. You see I was pretty fed up with the praise and prosperity images which give the false hope that we as Christians deserve miracles and blessings and all the good stuff yet have none of the bad. The is a lie spawned by satan to make us feel unloved and uncherished. We need to be honest and speak the truth as Jesus did in John ” you will have troubles in this world, but fear not I have overcome this world.”
I firmly believe that God cherishes me as much as he does the person who receives a cure from cancer, a new job, a better income; in fact I think he loves me more because He see me walking with Him daily minute by minute. No, I have no illusion that I will see my son cured of schizophrenia in this corporal life, but I am assured that I will see him fully restored; not to his pre-psychosis state but to his perfect self, his poetic, artistic,beautiful,kind, loving self that he was created to be in Christ. So my prayer today is that for all those who have recieved miracles and blessings, thank you Lord, you are powerful and loving. And for all who have not received, remember Christ has overcome this world, this broken world and He is present to walk with us , before us, and behind us. He will never leave nor forsake us and I am thankful that His presence brings that peace which passes understanding in the midst of this broken world -AMEN