So today is a day for learning Greek, no not the whole “it’s all Greek to me” kind of thing, but just one word. Egeiro, get up, arise, move. Translated in the New Testament as one or all of those things. This week while reading my 40 days of decrease by Alicia Britt Chloe , I came across this word egeiro; to make a transition from one place to the next, and indeed there always seems to be some kind of transition here. These past few weeks have been hard because the youngest has slipped back from his forward progress into a cocoon mode going back to the familiar. During our family session without the youngest present , we came upon the possibility that perhaps this was going to be as good as it gets. Or not. One can only wait and see. This is part of the long road, the path which has been set in place by the Lord of all, who is in all things, over all things, and through all things. And I have been placed here, for a purpose, on purpose. I have also been reading Esther and she also was placed in a particular moment in time. She embraced her moment and was written up in history. But I am not so sure of embracing this moment for I find myself being drawn from extreme anger to extreme sadness and complete frozen in time non-movement. It all seems too much on some days. I struggle with the concept of “come follow me” with my nature being “are we there yet”. And the not knowing what the end point is, if there truly is one at all. And while doing all these things were are to be joyful in trials and patient in affliction – really?!?!? It would make more sense to me if that verse had said we are to learn joy in trials, and to learn patience in affliction, but that’s just me. And these trials make you think, since the trials are to refine you like gold (Malachi 3:3) really how deep and wide and long is your own sin nature since these trials are long and deep and wide. Others seem to have it easier but perhaps they are just better at hiding the angst. How are we as Christians, to learn and grow if we do not speak of our trials, but instead go to church and show up with our polished facades and halos brightly shining. Where are the tears, the anguish, the sorrows?? And how can we receive comfort, direction, encouragement if we just hold all our junk inside, after all we are to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Perhaps if we learn to be vulnerable with others, we shall also learn to be vulnerable before God, after all He is not surprised by anything, no-thing, nothing surprises God!!!!!
So for today my prayer is that I have patience, endurance, I am not to joy at the present and may never be but I confess my unbelief daily, expectantly await the next miracle which is just around bend which only God can see because the road is long.