Rainy days and Mondays

I am old enough to remember that song rainy days and Monday’s always get me down. Today is a rainy day, but I am thankful for the rain as we have been dry and as for being down well that is pretty much where I love these days.

Today started @ 4:45 with the youngest asking me to check his pulse, this was after he had gotten me up twice to come and sit with him as he had awakened and could not go back to sleep . So today I am weary, and the rain on the roof makes my glad we are getting rain, but it makes the tears in my heart ooze closer to the surface and I find myself swallowing big lumps and blinking back tears. Yes, it is one of those tired days when everything is too close to the surface.  In  my devotions the past few days I have been reading about Hagar. She was cast aside by her mistress Sarai because she had conceived a son for Abram, not the chosen one promised by God but the child that was forced upon her by the very mistress who had not cast her aside.  She ran, and some days I feel like running also!! Away from this awful disease where nothing stays the same and the unpredictability of it drives you just a little off-center!!! But then the story changes because El-Roi the God who sees me shows up and tell Hagar that He has indeed seen her circumstances and this gives her courage to return to this awful situation. Perhaps I just need for El-Roi to show up preferably with a big neon sign ,so I won’t miss it, and have the sign say ” it will be okay” perhaps that is what I need. Right now I will persevere, checking pulses, listening to strong young hearts and being watchful for – well I am not sure what I am watchful for – but I will be present and not run but remain here and be in hope that El-Roi has indeed seen my circumstances and that He is knitting all things together for the good of those who love Him!!

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