So I had a revelation this week, not of the spiritual kind but about this disease called schizophrenia/schizoaffective. What I have seen and experienced may not apply to all who suffer from this malady, but it is what happens to the youngest. His brain tells him one thing but it is not necessarily what is actually happening. This week we had the eldest, her hubby, and the grandson visiting this is a stress which affects each of us differently. For the youngest these stress chemicals affect his brain and it doesn’t matter if it is a good stress ( like seeing the baby grandson) or a bad stress (like oh I over drafted my bank account) either way his brain sends out signals that tell him to panic ( the sympathetic neuro system) and unfortunately there is no counter balance ( the parasympathetic neuro system) to even things out. My revelation was about the fact that his brain tells him to panic even though there are no outward signs like hyperventilation, rapid heart rate, dilated pupils and he needs someone outside to help him pause and say out loud if necessary as he did this week ” I know that I am breathing fine, but my brain is telling me I am short of breath.” So I have pondered about this and what if anything I am to do with this revelation for now I will just hold it in my brain and remind him of it as is necessary.
we had a doctor’s appointment this week also and I asked about the what next perhaps I shouldn’t have. We have a long time ( about four months) before we have tapered him down off his anti-anxiety medicine but I wanted to know. I still don’t know perhaps all the other things we are doing will have reset his brain and his parasympathetic and sympathetic systems will once again be talking to one another or not. It is a wait and see or trust without knowing the results. So I cling to the verse from Ephesians 4:6 one God the father of all who is on all things, over all things and through all things and I pray for wisdom, patience and obedient trust to get through these next four months.