So yesterday was a big day. The youngest wanted to visit a friend. He had tried to do this in April and had a major panic and setback so I was a bit concerned because this summer has been a lot of work for him to get back on track. Anyway, he went though it was delayed as this friend postponed the visit until late afternoon so that was a time for us to discuss disappointment over other people’s actions and how we are not in control of their actions but only can control our response. This took a little while to soak in but I think it did. And he went had no panic attack and it was a good thing. He proved to himself that he could do it, if only for 2 hours and that is an accomplishment.
also yesterday our threesome started family therapy as we need some help. Mainly because we as parents see chronological youngest (21) but we also see developmental youngest. (13-19) all in the same day. We need to know how to move him forward through the stages he was robbed of when he was in psychosis. So in the session yesterday two things stood out. The first was that the therapist thinks that the youngest is doing really well and that we as his caregivers are also doing a good job. The second is the fact that the youngest should and must take ownership of his own recovery. And as I think on this I am sure that it is true, we can guide , guard and direct his steps only so far then he has to step out on his own. I struggle with the stepping out own his own because I have seen him during his psychosis and I do not want to ever, ever see this again. That helplessness seeing someone you love go through that is burned into my memory. So now I have to rewrite or overwrite that memory with more positive thoughts and seeing him go for a visit for 2 hours will definitely help.
one thing that surprised me was that the therapist said persevere and my readings this week have been about perseverance and fighting the good fight, and just keep on because all things work for the good of those who love the Lord. Again I am reassured that the Source of all life is in all things, over all things and through all things. So persevere it is and hopefully this small step, this baby step will lead to more and more practice and the youngest will own his recovery 🙂